CRACKING CREATIVE AVOIDANCE

If someone could bottle and sell ways to avoid, they would be rich. Avoidance has reached an art form among people just like you and me. Why do we avoid things that will make life and work better for us? Consider these seven reasons and draw your own conclusions. 

1. Your view of yourself is stuck in negative mode.

"I'm Bill the failure. Even if I do it, I'll still be a failure." It's easier for Bill to sabotage his efforts, cease trying and laugh off the excuses.

Key Thinking: 
Change your fundamental view of yourself. You have value and dignity because you have been created in the image of God, who wants you to reach for your potential and be a good steward of all He has given you and is willing to bring your way.

2. There don't appear to be any alternatives

"It's just too tough. I'll have to do this. I'll have to move that. I can't juggle it all. 

Key Thinking:
Start out with the alternatives. Look at each one as an experiment initially. Readjust times, routines and anything else, until it works for you. When those alternatives run out, come up with more. Some say, "Where there is a will, there is a way."

3. What you really want isn't defined yet. 

"If I get out of bed in time, I'll work out. If I work out, I'll be in shape. If I'm in shape, I'll get that new outfit. What I really want is to get out of bed earlier."

Key Thinking:
You don't want to get out of bed earlier and you don't want the work out either. You want the new outfit. If what you really want is not what you are directly saying you want, readjust your language. Then you can readjust your thinking and actions. If the outfit in the example is the reward for doing what you wanted to do, that's great. If it is the real thing you are aiming for, be clear about it. Go buy the outfit. Working out is something else entirely different.

4. You are comfortable right where you are. 

"Don't bug me. I'll get to it. I need to do other things first. I should get that on my schedule though."

Key thinking:
It takes concentrated energy to get a stationary object to move. Probably more energy is being used to maintain your pretense than actually get at it. Start. Take baby steps if you have to, but get with it.

5. You are scared of what might happen. 

"People will laugh. It probably won't work out for me and someone will let me know about it big time. It's going to hurt too much. "

Key thinking:
If shame paralyses the past, fear paralyses the future. So what, let them laugh. That's their problem. And it is going to hurt for awhile. Count on it. Change rarely is comfortable. What else would you expect? As Susan Jeffers says, "Feel the fear and do it anyway."

6. I feel all alone in this

"If I had someone behind me, I think I could do it. I know others have."

Key thinking:
There are people out there to support you. They may not come to you though, so you have to go find them. Ask your spouse, or a friend. Join a group or form a group. The structure of support can carry a person far beyond where they ever thought possible. We see that ever day in our coaching relationships with clients.

7. It's got to be perfect

"If I make this change, I want to know this will work. It has to work like this. The results have to look like that. I have to feel like this."

Key thinking
Do a favor and lighten up on yourself. You've got the mechanism wound up so tight, it can only break down. You won't obtain perfection. And if the choice is between perfect and nothing, nothing will probably be the only result that satisfies. Go for it and be happy getting great results.

GW